Your face is a jimmy john
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
