so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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