As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
