I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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