why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
