I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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