home. puking in laundry basket.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize