i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
