That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
