He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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