Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize