i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
