By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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