There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
