Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
my poor anus
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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