I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
