i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
