You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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