so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize