Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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