seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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