my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
