The maid of honor just puked.
i permit you to call me
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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