TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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