just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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