well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
