Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
