I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
