he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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