I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I got inside last night via doggy door
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize