I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
