i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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