What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
