If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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