i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize