Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
