I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The air was thick with penises
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
