why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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