the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
