Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
