I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
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Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
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How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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