He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
