That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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