Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
