does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
