i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
