i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
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omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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