So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
