I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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