You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize