her vagine was all disorganized.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
