Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
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Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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