he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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