I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
