just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
