I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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