I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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