ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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