the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
