Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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