she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
