Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
