I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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